dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
