i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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