you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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