Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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