Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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