mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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