i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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