Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
