Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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