One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize