My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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