the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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