its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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