I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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