Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
