Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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