i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
