Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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