We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize