Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
