so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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