I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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