I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
