you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dignity is for republicans.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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