ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
