Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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