I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
