I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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