i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
