Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
