you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
