The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
