Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
