This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize