I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
