Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
