Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
