Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
