i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The best revenge is premature balding
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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