you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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