two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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