oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
