I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just invented taco cereal.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize