dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm both gender and math confused
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize