everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
