I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
