worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize