I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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