i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
