btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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