i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize