SEEEEXXX PLEASE
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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