But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
